The Bad Boys of Computer Science
A sporadically updated web comic from your friends at HotZP.
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Sporadic Rant:
Today's comic is fairly straightforward. Tim and Robin are both taking the same business class, and I overheard them having an argument along these lines about their spreadsheets. So naturally I made a comic out of it.
And now for something completely different:
Today's Rant will feature another controversial quasi-essay (see comic for 03-17-00), this time a social commentary on the state of race relations in the U.S. All the sensitive and socially aware readers in the audience can go ahead and skip this and come back for tomorrow's comic; but all you ignorant motherfuckers out there (and I mean that in the best possible way, really) need to take some time out of your day to read on.
Let's kick it with Super Happy Fun Surprise Storytime:The Story of John Whitie
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John lives in a nice, white, middle-class suburb. His Mommy and Daddy are happy together and still get it on whenever little Johnny is asleep. John goes to a nice school with friendly competent teachers who encourage him to do the best he can. His friends are all fairly bright and athletic, and John is a happy well-rounded boy. His parents always tell him to do his best and achieve his full potential. Although they're not rich, they do have just enough saved up to pay for his college tuition. Johnny lives happily ever after.
---*/Now wasn't that a Super Happy Fun Story? I thought it was so Super Happy Fun that I think I'll tell another one.
The Story of Joe Projects
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Joe lives in the same metropolitan area as little Johnny, but Joe lives in the inner city neighborhood. He never knew his Daddy, and his Mommy is usually too busy working two jobs and taking classes at a nearby community college to spend much time with him. Joe attends a beat-down poorly-equipped school where the teachers think all the kids are little hooligans and can't wait until they can leave at the end of the day. Joe doesn't have too many friends because his black peers think he's trying too hard to be white, just because he gets good grades and the teachers always praise him. White kids won't have anything to do with him because he dresses, looks, and talks totally different than they do. The only good friend Joe ever had was killed last year in a drive-by. He told his Mommy he started a paper route, but he really started doing drug deliveries for one of the local gangs to help pay the bills. He's not good at sports or music, so his only ticket out of the projects rests on the hope that some college recruiter somewhere will see Joe's application, find his hidden potential, and offer him a full scholarship.
---*/Now that wasn't a very happy story, was it? You might be surprised at how often that story, or a subtle variation of it, plays out time and time again. The problem is that most people are basically very selfish. If trouble isn't in your face and bothering you directly, then it slides onto the backburner of your consciousness. Issues like fighting in the Middle East, the AIDS epidemic in Africa, and the destruction of the Amazon rainforest fall into this category, too.
Why did I bother writing all this? A few of my friends at college just don't seem to "get it," so to speak. They don't see how calling a black guy "white" can be perceived as being a racist remark. For them, it may be a sort of compliment or an observation, but all it shows is that they don't really understand the stories of John Whitie and Joe Projects. Sure, they realize it on some abstract intellectual level, but it's not personalized or humanized so that it courses through their veins and is at the forefront of their awareness. They're good guys, one and all, and I consider them my friends, but their attitude and total denial in regards to the nature of their behavior irks me to no end.
Just what are the attributes of being "white?" Does being "white" mean that you're articulate, educated, intelligent, and well-mannered? These traits can't be applied to black people as well? Why can't you say, "Now there goes one bright and well-spoken black man who doesn't go around rapping to himself all the time," instead of, "That guy is a wannabe white person," or, "He acts so white sometimes?" It's most definitely a racist concept, employed by ignorant whites and blacks alike. Homey the Clown definitely do not fucking play dat. It's not overtly racist behavior to go around calling a black person "white," but neither is it behavior of which to be proud. A so-called "white" Joe Projects is really just a black kid who was fortunate enough to grow up in John Whitie's neighborhood. When asked about his supposed "oreo" behavior, tennis legend Arthur Ashe responded, "Being a black American is like having a second full-time job." Word.
Why do I, as a member of the Asian community, care? Is it because the concept of "oreo" exists among Asians as well (except the term here being "banana")? Do I empathize and sympathize with the stereotype of the "angry black man?" In short: What the fuck? To understand, you'll have to read one last story.
The Story of Nicholas Yu
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Nick was a pretty typical kid, except that he happened to be smarter and better-looking than everyone else. That, and he had an ego the size of the Jennifer Lopez's ass. He was born in Podunkville, Michigan and was the only Asian kid in school (besides his older brother). His very first day of school was traumatic because he got chased around by all the other kids in his grade just because he looked different. Hell, even some of the teachers thought it was amusing and didn't do anything except stand idly by. Basically, for Nick, grades K-6 was one continuous fight. Nick's older brother had to step in and help with one particularly vicious assailant by slamming the jerk against the wall and bloodying his nose; but his brother couldn't look after him all the time, especially after he went on to junior high.What made matters worse was that Nick skipped 5th grade, and basically that reinforced everyone's belief that he deserved to be picked on. Naturally, after getting into so many after school fights, Nick got pretty damn good at scrapping. It wasn't until 6th grade, though, that they finally left him alone, and only then because he faced down the biggest and meanest bully in school and absolutely fucking kicked his ass up and down the playground.
Now Nick's family moved to a much larger city and Nick went to a much bigger and better school for 7th and 8th grade. There still weren't too many Asians there, but there were plenty of other minorities. Nick thought he was on easy street until he learned that many blacks and Latinos despise Asians because they think poorly of Asian assimilation into American culture (kind of a "sell-out to The Man"). It also frustrated Nick that his new group of friends had some pretty backwards views on race. So he still got into it a lot, but they were usually arguments and not fights. Not that fighting would have done him much good, because now he was looking at gangs of thugs instead of one or two bullies at a time.
So Nick went through adolescence and eventually grew into a man (technically speaking, at least), but he was still troubled by his boyhood memories. A lot of people told him during those years that he shouldn't be so confrontational and just let it slide. But he wouldn't, couldn't just let ignorant prejudiced motherfuckers say random ass shit to his face and behind his back. In his mind such behavior was so totally wrong that he couldn't abide or tolerate it by any means. If the only way to shut them up was to beat the holy living shit out of them, then that's the way it had to be. And so the story continues to this day.
---*/So that's the end of the stories. This is not written so that everyone says, "Oh boo hoo, poor Nick." That's not the reaction I want to evoke. Instead, I want all my friends to understand why race is one of my hot buttons, and why I can be calm and serene one moment, then boil over with rage in the next. As bad as my temper is now, it's improved markedly over the years, especially thanks to my lovely fiancee.
The story of John Whitie is the story of most of the white friends I've had over the years, even if they don't quite know it. The story of Joe Projects is an attempt to get the John Whities of the world to understand a little bit more about people who aren't white, to see through someone else's eyes, if only for a moment. It's probably a futile effort to improve their social conscience, knowing how thick-headed some of my friends are; but Hell, if just one person who reads this comes away thinking just a little bit differently, then it was definitely worth the time and effort. The next time you see or hear an angry black man, just remember Joe Projects. Think for a moment. If you had to live that life, even for just a year, would you still act and think the same way you do now? I don't fucking think so, and neither do you if you're not fooling yourself.
Remember, the Sporadic Rant is not meant to offend nor annoy, but rather spark discussion and thought. It is just one guy's rant, after all. Peace out, y'all.